“People Are People.”
Depeche Mode’s mid-80's song sums it up: despite our numerous differences, we are essentially the same. Yet, as human beings, we are instilled to gravitate towards what is familiar — socialization and indoctrination yield a conformist approach to life: same mentality, same ways, same thoughts. Not only can we inherently fall into the trap of building our own echo chambers, but we miss out on the palette of people life has to offer — and…the ultimate irony: all the similarities amongst the differences.
I’ve been blessed to experience many cultures and cities around the world — a few diametrically distinctive. Yet, the staunchest awareness that surfaced over my years was: people — wherever you go — are just that…people. No matter what age, background, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. Each carries the same spectrum of emotions and struggles; just at various gradations.
Each also carries the same desires; especially the desire to belong.
Having lived life in both the West and the East, the South and the North; Downtown and Backwoods; I’ve been unduly pigeonholed and labeled by countless folks as: too proud, too modest, too conservative, too progressive, too religious, too liberal, too passive, too aggressive, too weak, too assertive, too tan, too White, too Western, too Bedouin, too curvy, too skinny, too formal, too casual, too intellectual, too diplomatic, too direct, too polite, too rude, too quiet, too loud, too friendly, too stand-offish, too structured, too fluid…Alpha Female, Push Over, Red Neck, Camel Jockey, Republican, Democrat.
You get the gist.
But, nobody awarded me the moniker that truly captures my essence — not naïve, but idealistic. The idea that I have the power within me to change the world. I automatically choose to see the good in people, places, and situations even when the alternate traits far outweigh my tunnel vision hopes, and sometimes, projections.
Admittedly, my child-like approach often landed me into a detrimental cycle of over-giving: both with the aim to amplify the good — but mostly contorting to belong. I realize only now that I was accountable in enabling these imbalanced dynamics that tipped the scales and submerged my essence. Foresight’s subscription doesn’t offer us nearly as much wisdom, at least, not earlier in life. That clarity only comes in hindsight and time…but also by befriending others with the same lesson to learn.
For years, I thought I was the only one who struggled with self-acceptance; until my social circle subconsciously expanded to reflect a Benetton commercial — people from various walks of life, ethnicities, backgrounds, ages, and sexual orientations. With deep friendship, more so kinship, came the discovery that many share the same burden — among others. Actually, witnessing those around me who also struggled with self-acceptance — for different reasons; made me recognize and reflect on my own inability to embrace the kaleidoscope of my dimensions.
Isn’t that ironic? Don’t you think? Not really: “People are people…so why should it be?”
#FSB140
