Experience Makes the (Wo)Man.
It’s no secret that success and passion go hand-in-hand. Decades worth of wisdom in that terse declarative. Ok, that’s all folks…..ha — if only! The reality is two of the toughest lessons I learned far later in life than necessary were around defining success and (the torment I inflicted upon myself due to the unsubstantiated fear of not) connecting my professional dots sooner. In my 20s, like many, I was far from having life figured out. I was reconciling preconditioned notions of what success looked like and how I was supposed to get there. Like most folks, I initially thought success was anchored in a score, salary, or position of status. So I, at first, set about the predefined — as opposed to the experiential — path of trying to achieve milestones across these areas (P.S., and failing miserably along the way — literally).
My conundrum was the irreconcilable feeling that I was going against my own grain…which explains my unconventional trajectory in taking the outer most orbit to “success.” For all my adolescent confusion, I give myself props for giving me permission to explore many avenues, cul de sacs, highways, and dead ends along the way in order to discern my passion. To draw from the adage: [indeed], experience makes the (wo)man. Truth be told: I never knew how or when my dots would connect, but I held tightly to the firm belief that they would….eventually.
Here’s what helped me later in life and also along the way: clarity on values while giving myself permission to explore. Getting clear on your values is THE foundational framework for living a thriving existence (Brenee’ Brown talks about this in her research and books, including “Dare to Lead;” as does Adam Grant in his various works). Then comes putting paper to practice, in terms of relentlessly calibrating your life into this list across all spheres — good luck!
Part of my gaining clarity around my values was inextricably linked to exploring different jobs, industries, subjects, hobbies, etc., especially earlier on — although permission slips to explore are timeless. Much of my life was like Sara McLachlan’s best-selling 1993 album, “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy,”….even if I didn’t realize it at the time. But, in every scenario, I paid very close attention to moments when I felt the task at hand was effortless, yet absorbed my concentration and energy in a natural way…because therein lie my gift — P.S., we all have one — which was the road map to my passion. (If you haven’t watched Pixar’s movie “Soul,” stop what you are doing and go watch it).
Another more tangible resource helped significantly: a mentor! So, even as you figure out your own definition for success and your own passions…make sure to also identify a non-judgmental soundboard along your path to help guide you…because it really does take a village.
It’s easy to define success based on an outward lens. And, it’s easy to be confused about your passion. If I could go back to my 20-year-old self, I wouldn’t change a thing — I would just tell her: figure out what success means to you; as opposed to other folks’ definition because that can be misleading — albeit sprinkled with accomplishments.
As far as passion; I was born a curious explorer (I think Dora and I are related). I wouldn’t change a thing in terms of trying my hand at various tasks, each experience afforded me another notch of clarity on what I loved to do…I just made sure to pay attention. After all, that’s what life is all about: experiences. And, that is, in fact, what will make you!
